‘Louboutin Dreams’ – Is songwriting to channel your emotions always a good idea?

It is my opinion, that a skilled songwriter should be able to write any time, day or night whether they are inspired or not.  Songwriting is a task and if you sit down to write, inspiration will eventually join you.

However, sometimes, you feel so inspired by an event, no matter how small, that you could simply write an entire album in 20 minutes! (If only that happened every day?!)

Usually, I find, that it is easier to write about upsetting things.  However, in the case of my song ‘Louboutin Dreams,’ the second track on my debut EP ‘Charcoal Roses,’ I simply did not want to address or legitimise the emotions I was feeling about a certain situation, with a song.

(Available here:  https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/charcoal-roses/id1099861524 )

Turns out, after a year or more of mulling this situation over, songwriting was the perfect way to channel the dull and annoying emotions from my head and heart and create something colourful and dramatic.

It has been exactly a year, almost to the day, that I wrote ‘Louboutin Dreams.’  I remember it clearly as I was in Versailles at the time, one of the most beautiful and inspiring places I have ever been and I was strolling around the streets near the Palace trying to figure out a way to deal with the emotions that were still embedded in my soul.

I had written a few lines and words down about a person who had been in my life for a brief and fleeting romance, but, turned out to have a bigger hold on me than I was expecting…for the sake of this blog, let’s call him ‘Mike’.  Although I was completely over Mike and rarely saw him in day-to-day life anymore, it still struck a chord with me that he had such an intense hold on me for such a short time.

So, I put the original lyrics aside and I used these new thoughts and emotions to write the lyric ‘Suffocation you’re pulling my heart, I can’t breathe, I’m crying in the dark and you don’t see.’  It was true, I felt suffocated by the hold Mike had on me and my logical head was constantly fighting my irrational heart.  When I say ‘you don’t see’ I was referring to me and how I wasn’t seeing clearly that I was acting like a different person for someone who didn’t appreciate the real me – something I had never given any time to before.   BAM!!! Song inspiration!

That week I wrote the entire song, basing it around a small incident between Mike and I that represented how I felt about him at that time and it was magnificent!  A songwriting experience that truly helped me deal with my emotions and channel them into something creative and new.  WINNING!

Fast forward 1 year and Louboutin Dreams is now on my debut EP having received over 80 digital downloads in the first month and almost 100 record sales and I have received many an inquiry as to who it is about.

My only problem now… every time I listen to the song, I am reliving the experience and in fact, due to this experience and these emotions now being immortalised in song, I can no longer escape them! OOPS!

Although the whole production process of ‘Louboutin Dreams’ was therapeutic and enjoyable and although I felt like I had dealt with the issue; because I have released this song into the world, I am now experiencing a new wave of different opinions of Mike due to people listening and having their 2 cents.  I have opened up my heart to the world and they have answered back…!

Perhaps being a songwriter, or any kind of creative for that matter, means you feel everything too much.  You have to, otherwise you would never create!  Average Joe down the pub will go and have a good chat with his mates and have a few pints to deal with emotions and let time do the rest, songwriters will channel their emotions and create something new out of it.

All in all, looking back on this last 2 years, I have dealt with a huge range of emotions through the process of songwriting and generally, I have felt much better about the situation after and my emotional and mental well-being has progressed due to this, so yes, I think songwriting to channel emotions IS a good idea.  (I would maybe re-think the ramifications of releasing your most emotional songs into the world though, until you are 100% ready to deal with the opinions.)

Oh and one more thing…what exactly are Louboutin Dreams I hear you ask? Well…I own a pair of Christian Louboutin 5-inch stiletto heels, they are FAB!  I only wear them on very special occasions; my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary, my birthday, my best friend’s engagement party for example, you know, events that really merit them and I once wore my Louboutins for Mike?!?!?! It is silly I know and a bit teenage-girl of me, but, I was so annoyed with myself that I wore them for him! (Not to mention I was about 3 inches taller than him in them – CRINGE!)

Mike’s true identity is and will remain unknown to the public until further notice.

(Available on my debut EP ‘Charcoal Roses’ https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/charcoal-roses/id1099861524 )


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